There is an untapped power that many women seem to have. Those without it, know it when they see it and feel it. Imagine going to a conference and watching the keynote speaker take the stage.
She seems larger than life and you find yourself envying her without even knowing why. It could be her amazing transformation story or the skills she has been using in her career, but it’s most likely that you are envying her self-confidence. She owns that stage.
You think to yourself “how can I build self confidence like that?” Well, it’s not as hard as you may think but it can take time and practice. Here are the best tips from my own personal development journey. My rise from low to high self esteem and self belief.
These are the best activities to boost self esteem and confidence and you should get started on them today. Let’s get started.
The Similarities and Differences in Self Esteem and Self Confidence
Before you start working on yourself, it’s a good idea to know the differences between self esteem and self confidence.
In simple terms, esteem is how you feel about yourself INTERNALLY (self positivity and self love) while confidence is how you feel about your EXTERNAL abilities. Your confidence can vary depending on the situation and the task.
The two are not necessarily tied together.
For example, you may not have much self esteem because of being insecure but you could feel confident about your ability to cook a fantastic pot-roast.
However, usually self confidence tends to be lower overall if self esteem is low while you can have high self esteem but low confidence. Ideally, you’d like them both to be high. This is where this post is here to help.
Internal Activities to Boost Self Esteem
First we are going to give into internal tools to use but this doesn’t mean you won’t physically do them. They do involve writing or speaking, but they are ways to change how you internally feel about yourself. It’s time for growing your self love.
1. Find the Cause of the Insecurities
The best strategy to improve your self esteem is to find the cause behind your lack of it. Where are your insecurities coming from?
They could be from your experiences as a child or growing up. They could also be from recent events. You may have been a very confident child and then slowly over time you may have lost that spark in yourself.
Think of the memories that pop into your head the most that give you negative self thoughts about yourself. What was happening in those memories? Where were you? Who were you with? What happened?
Maybe you experienced bullying as a child and you’ve lost the courage to stick up for yourself. Maybe your coworkers constantly tell you (directly or indirectly) that you’re incompetent and you start to believe them.
Either way, you need to figure out where these insecurities are coming from. Only then can you start to defeat them. One of the ways to do this is with my next tip.
2. Flip a Negative into a Positive
Now that you’re figuring out when you’re having negative thoughts and you know what positive affirmations/mantras are, it’s time to combine this into flipping your negatives into positives.
While not all of your negative thoughts need or should be flipped, look for ones that may keep coming up. Especially ones about yourself.
Write them down and then flip them into their opposites or into something positive.
Here are some examples
“I wish I was thinner.” This can be turned into “I love my body”, “I feel confident in myself and my body”, etc.
“I’m so lazy. Why can’t I get things done?” This can be turned into “I always get things done”, “I have the energy to complete my tasks”, etc.
Both of these can seem a little hard to say at first if you don’t believe what you’re saying, but over time and saying them daily you will start to believe it and you’ll start to feel it.
3. Say Daily Affirmations
This is one of the top tools for raising your self esteem. If you don’t know what an affirmation is (also called a mantra), it’s a positive statement about yourself or your situation that you’ll say to yourself daily.
A great example for this post would be “I’m a strong, confident woman”. Another would be “I love and accept myself just as I am”.
The second was one I used at the start of my journey and it was really hard to say at first. My brain didn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. Over time, the strangeness seemed to wear off and my brain started believing this truth.
A good place to start with your daily affirmations is to use the list of insecurities you found in the first exercise above and then flip it into a positive like I mentioned in the second exercise. You will then say these phrases to yourself daily as your affirmations.
An example of this would be:
Insecurity: people think I’m weird
Flip it: I’m unique
Affirmations: I love and accept that I am a unique person; I embrace my individual personality; I am amazing just the way I am
You see how powerful these activities can be? Find your insecurities, flip the negatives into positives, and use them for your daily affirmations.
4. Count Wins/Accomplishments
Another great activity for boosting your self esteem is counting your wins and accomplishments. This should be done at least weekly, if not daily.
“What’s a win?” you may ask. Well, it’s something good that happened to you, either internally or externally.
Internal examples: having a breakthrough thought, successfully flipping negative thoughts to positive ones, starting to feel good about yourself or what you’re able to do, etc.
External examples: someone paying you a compliment, reaching a goal, accomplishing something on your to-do list, things starting to feel easier for you, etc.
The list goes on and on but you get the idea. Start with at least one of each, but the more you can list as wins and accomplishments, the more your brain still start to pick up on these positive vibes.
It’s only 7:45am while I write this but here are some of my wins already for today: I woke up early instead of sleeping in, I woke up to my first sale on Etsy, I’m full of happy energy, I’m writing and publishing a post this morning, and I’m helping someone (you) find tips on improving self esteem which makes me so happy. I love helping people.
Count them all daily if possible, but weekly at a minimum.
External Strategies to Raise Self Confidence
The next section is all about the external activities you can do for improving your confidence. These involve taking action physically or verbally. These tools have helped me and I know they will help you too.
5. Develop Healthy Habits
Healthy habits are important to your self growth journey, and truthfully I wish I had started these sooner.
You begin to feel and show your outer self best when you’re taking care of your well being.
This includes eating healthier, getting exercise, cutting back on alcohol (THIS ONE IS HUGE!), making sure to get a decent nights sleep, and finding as many ways to take care of yourself as possible (including self care).
Write down all the good habits that you want to use in your own life and start building them into your daily routine.
That said, sometimes it’s hard to do things when your self confidence is low. It can be a “chicken vs egg” situation. When you’re confidence is low it can be hard to get yourself to do the things that you know you should be doing. Productivity goes down the drain.
So how can you form these habits then? I’m glad you asked because it brings me to my next tip: starting small.
6. Start Small
Now that you know the habits you need and want to work on, you should start small as you work towards boosting your self esteem and self confidence.
They say a rising tide raises all ships. I say a rising self love, raises all good things. You’re habits, productivity, and sense of self are likely to start all slowly rising together.
As you work on one, the others will start to grow too. Start small as you start building your foundation of growth.
Even a bunch of starting small steps can lead to big changes when you add them all together. Here is an example of adding a bunch of small steps together. You could start out with drinking an extra glass of water a day, cutting out one bad food, skipping that extra glass of wine, getting up 15 minutes early, and saying 3 positive affirmations.
All those small things can seem big when you put them all together. Yet, individually they are small stepping stones toward your success.
It may help to have a checklist of the small habits you want to start. Create a daily or weekly “to-do” list and check them off as you go. As a bonus, you can count these as your wins!
7. Do Things You’re Good at and Enjoy
This tip is pretty self explanatory. Things that you’re good at and enjoy, make you feel good about yourself and your abilities. So it makes sense to do these things more.
Feeling competent is a wonderful feeling and also signals something positive to your brain. Keep doing these activities and if you can, you should start sharing these things with other people.
You’ll start telling your brain that you’re both good at something and confident enough in your abilities to share with others.
That is huge for boosting self esteem AND self confidence. You’ll internally feel good about yourself and externally feel good about the thing you are doing and showing to people.
If there are activities you are still working on growing your skills in, you should still work on those too but you don’t necessarily need to show off your skills right away until you feel comfortable.
That said, you shouldn’t hide those activities of your brain could start seeing this as a negative. Find a balance between the two.
Do more of what you love and slowly grow and share the things you want to work towards.
Final Thoughts on Improving Your Self Esteem
I hope these 7 self esteem boosting activities have given you a good idea for what you need to do in your personal growth going forward. Increased confidence and belief in yourself is achievable. It may take a little while to fully grow, but I know you will be so happy with your results if you put in the work.
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