Are you feeling stuck with your goals? Maybe you’ve set some fantastic goals for yourself but for some reason you’re not putting in the time or effort you know you should.
You’re probably wondering what’s wrong with yourself for not just diving head first into your dreams and goals. Don’t worry, it’s not so much about anything wrong with you. It’s often the emotions that are swirling around in your head.
This post will explain the four big emotions that are keeping you stuck with your goals and not achieving the success you desire. Once you recognize these within yourself, you can start breaking through these barriers.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re not stressed about your goals, why would that emotion hold you back?
Well, it’s not the goal stress that’s keeping you stuck with your goals, it’s the stress in your life.
If you find yourself frequently procrastinating on your tasks, it’s most likely because there is some sort of stress in your life. Mel Robbins says that procrastination is stress and I 100% believe it.
The more stressed I am in my life, the more I procrastinate and put off my own personal goals. Procrastination is a form of stress relief. It’s your brains way of not dealing with anything else that needs it to function at maximum capacity.
The more you’re stressed, the less you will have the motivation or desire to work on your goals.
For this reason, taking a lot of self care time is very important. If you want to reach your goals, take a lot of time for yourself. Find ways to relax and destress. It’s not hard and you don’t have to do long or expensive activities. Here are 41 easy self care ideas you can include in your daily routine.
If you’re having a hard time realizing the route cause of your stress so that you can fight it, I recommend getting a journal (I love this reusable one) and start recording your feelings daily. Write for at least 15 minutes. I bet you that by the end, you’ll see in your writing why you’re feeling so stressed.
While stress in your life can be a bit sneaky, doubt usually isn’t and is a big reason why your stuck on your goals and not making progress.
A lot of the time with doubt, you also get indecision. You doubt yourself so you doubt your decisions. Therefore you aren’t making decisions quickly, or at all.
You spend all your time planning your goals and various ways to achieve them but you’re not actually putting in the work.
Should I start in the morning or at night? What order should I work on these tasks? If I do it one way, maybe another outcome would happen that may be better…but I know how to do it the other way so maybe I should…
See? Those kinds of thoughts lead to your brain acting like a hamster on a wheel. The wheel is turning but the hamster isn’t going anywhere.
When you doubt yourself, you’re letting your subconscious get the better of you. You need to believe in yourself. Easier said than done sometimes, but it’s something you should work at every day.
Something that helps with this is to make decision making into a daily habit. Make frequent small decisions and make them fast. Set a timer if you need to. The more you get used to this, the easier it will be and the less doubt you will have.
I also want you to switch to a more positive mindset (here are some mindset tips to help). Some of those tips include create daily mantras around your negative self doubt thoughts.
Instead of worrying, start saying “I am working towards my goals with ease” or “I always make the right decisions with my goals” or “I am confident in my ability to reach my goal”.
Don’t let doubt get the better of you. Be self aware and shift your mindset.
Fear is an easy emotion to see why you may not be reaching your goals. This will vary depending on the type of goal your working towards, but fear is something you really need to overcome if you’re experiencing it.
For example, if you’re working towards a weight loss goal, are you afraid people will make fun of your diet? Will judge your journey? Afraid you’ll never be able to eat two donuts in one sitting again?
This is normal but needs to be addressed. There is a lot of fear in goal setting, especially when we are creating big monster goals.
We don’t know what our outcome will be. Will we waste our time?
We don’t know what other’s will think. Will they judge that you want to work from home?
Fear can come at you from all sides. Maybe you’re worried you as a person will change (this is a common fear in personal development goals).
You need to figure out 1) where this fear is coming from, 2) why exactly you feel this way, and 3) how you can flip those thoughts of fear into excitment.
I’ve read that the body treats fear and excitement as similar physical responses. If you’re afraid of your big monster goals, try rewiring your brain to be excited. Instead of saying “I worry that…” say “I’m excited that…”
Do this when you’re facing fears and start the transition to a more positive mindset. I bet you that you’re goals won’t start feeling so hard.
This is a sad emotion to have over your goals. Embarrassment can come from the goal itself or because of your starting point or other similar factor.
With the weight loss example, you could be embarrassed because of your starting weight or you could be embarrassed that you want to start a weight lifting regime but you have no idea how to start. You start avoiding going to the gym because you don’t want anyone to see you struggling with the weight machines or free weights. Now you’re sabotaging your goals because of embarrassment.
Another example could be that you’re working on personal development and building your confidence (hand raised here). You make a comment to someone on how much you’ve improved but they say that they haven’t noticed.
You then become embarrassed to tell anyone your journey and maybe you even start doubting it yourself. You begin to let those feelings take hold, and soon you’re no longer working on your personal development work.
Don’t let this happen! Trust in the process of your goals and trust in your abilities to reach them. Look at yourself in the mirror every day and say “I’m exactly where I need to be on my journey”. Say it over and over until you believe it.
Get confident in your abilities and don’t worry about what others may think. If you’re struggling with confidence or self esteem, here are some addition tips to help you.
Final Thoughts on Emotions and Goals
I hope these emotional roadblocks to your goals have given you an idea of what you need to do to refocus and get yourself on track with your goals. At some point I will probably do a whole post for each of these emotions, but for now I hope this helps.
Additionally, you can read about some mental blocks (a bit different than emotions) that may be keeping you back.
For a quick recap:
1) Find ways to destress in your life so you stop procrastinating.
2) Stop doubting yourself and your abilities.
3) Don’t let fear of the unknown results overtake you.
4) Be confident, not embarrassed, of your goals and dreams.
You can do this!
How to Journal for Personal Development
Best Journals Every Writer Should Have
41 Daily Self Care Ideas to Add to Your Routine
Why Self Care is So Important
How to Boost Your Productivity
6 Fixable Reasons Why You’re Procrastinating
7 Morning Habits for Success